Postcard from Perth

- Caversham Wildlife Park, Perth, 2008 -

Awwal Muharram Mubarak to all! :)

Life in Mini (6)

- Rottnest Island, Perth, 2008 -

Hello from Perth!

- Ilyas, King's Park, Perth -

Life in Mini (5)

- Gran Madre, Torino, 2007 -

Taking a hiatus since I've too much to do before I leave for Australia; will be back on the 15th Insya-Allah.

Life in Mini (4)

- Disneyland Paris, France, 2007 -

Looking Ahead

- Marseille, France, 2007 -

Currently busy with grad school applications, DALF preparation & exams.. Feeling blessed and grateful with such wonderful people around me :)

Life in Mini (3)

- F1 Grand Prix, Monaco, 2007 -

Life in Mini (2)

- Arc de Triomphe, Paris, 2007 -

Life in Mini (1)

- Florence, Italy, 2007 -

Holiday Mood at the Wrong Time

- Pulau Mamutik, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

Too Much, Too Long

- Arab Street, Singapore -

18 years of taking exams without a break; the brain is screaming for one while the heart is begging for it.

Night @ The Istana

- Istana, Singapore, 2008 -

Salam Aidil Fitri :)

- State Mosque, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

Stepping Stone

- Pulau Mamutik, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

Save the Last Dance for Me

- Kinabalu Park, Sabah, 2008 -

Straight Curves

- National Museum, Singapore -

Longing

- National Museum, Singapore, 2008 -

Decisions

- Institut du Monde Arabe, Paris, 2007 -

For someone as capricious as I am, decision-making is not my forte, even more so when it comes to decisions regarding my life. It suddenly came to mind that had I not been indecisive and swiftly stuck to a path for that particular goal, I could have probably saved myself a lot of money and from a lot of heartache. It is the paradox of choice, yet to explain it as a mere paradox is to oversimplify such a complex sentiment mixed with fear, greed and hope. For where does one draw the line between perseverance and plain idiocy for sticking to something? So here I am, still trying to make these decisions and leave them with Him who knows best.

Red Beauty

- Garden Show, 2008 -

Life is but a play

- Tanjung Aru, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages”

- William Shakespeare

Unsaid, Unseen, Unheard

The soft breeze that gently whispers

The music of the birds that carries her song

To valiantly seek what is truly hers

Could it have been him all along?

I did not upload a photograph today for I could not think of any that can successfully convey my emotions at the moment. I feel blessed yet wary, happy yet depressed, hopeful yet cautious, brave yet timid, and more. Just when you thought that you were going to suffer from logorrhoea, your heart clams up, your brain refuses to function and you can no longer say what you had originally wanted to say, all in that order. For it all begins in the heart; how does one will oneself to do what the heart is unwilling? The nuance of "I feel" differs from "I think", yet how far can one's feelings differ from one's thoughts? It is a neverending vicious cycle of one's feelings moulding one's thoughts, and vice versa, for one's thoughts can change the way one feels. People may argue that it is a chicken and egg conundrum, but for me, it all begins in the heart. My heart, that has been given to the One and only who will always be there for me, yet my weak heart continues to be stricken with impurities that threatens my love. It all begins in the heart; no one but Him sees my heart for what it really is, hears my thoughts for what they really are, and says the truth for what it has always been. It all begins in the heart - the unsaid, unseen and unheard - between you and Him.

More about Me :)

Beauty in Creation

"See ye not how Allah hath created seven heavens in harmony,
And hath made the moon a light therein, and made the sun a lamp?"
Surah An-Nur, 71: 15-1

These days have been pretty uneventful save for an epiphany I had during Shaykh Khalil Moore's lecture. I'm taking my GRE in 6 days, so please pray for me! :)

Seeking

Sometimes you wonder why those who know you for years barely know you, yet those who know you for just a moment seem like they have known you for a lifetime. Then you begin to wonder if the latter is even possible when you do not even reveal your true self to anyone but Him.

Design in Nature

For an enlightening reading on the amazing and flawless design in the flight of insects, do have a look here.

“He is Allah - the Creator, the Maker, the Giver of Form.
To Him belong the Most Beautiful Names.
Everything in the heavens and earth glorifies Him.
He is the Almighty, the All-Wise.”

Al-Hashr: 24

Trends

- Sunset @ Kota Kinabalu -

Had to change to a new desktop wallpaper due to a silly mistake of which I am sure you would hardly be interested to know. In any case, friends and I were just discussing of a relatively new trend - it is no longer "in" to get married, what's "in" now is to get pregnant/give birth! Gah I'm getting old.

Desert of Life

- Tanjung Aru Beach 1, Kota Kinabalu -

Other than the thousands of crabs we saw running away from us as we walked along the beach, these lovely patterns formed on the sand by the waves was an unexpected find. There is nothing more revitalizing than to walk along the beach with your feet on the warm sand, listening to the soothing sound of the waves and pondering over the beauty of life, all while feeling blessed that you have the opportunity to do so.

Without a Purpose

- State Mosque, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah -

Having just completed the phonetic coding of 11640 responses, I am left with a writer's block. I did initially have a purpose in drafting this blog post but I suppose fulfilling the purpose of 'not wanting to leave this blog untended' shall suffice for now. My days are pretty much uneventful and I am trying my best to make them follow some sort of schedule, i.e. practise for my GRE after breakfast, do research work after lunch and rest after dinner. What usually happens is that I wake up in time for brunch and end up doing my work the whole day, sleeping late and waking up late the next day. Of course this vicious cycle has to end; $237.66 for the GRE is too costly a price to pay for not getting a good score! Thus, I shall end my aimless rambling and head for more purposeful ventures.

Borneo - Land Under the Wind

- Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, 2008 -

So I'm back from Sabah with sunburnt skin and stomach flu; it was still a lovely holiday nonetheless, filled with rich experiences of culture, gastronomy, nature and more. Kota Kinabalu is really a city that caters to almost every tourist. Even better if you can be mistaken/pass off as a Malaysian. :D That said, I hope I get better soon! Malaysia, Truly Asia!

Of Apathy and Destiny

- Brugge, Belgium, 2007 -

Brugge easily gets the prize for being the prettiest, the most colourful and the most surreal town. It is also small so you could walk around the entire town in a day. Even then, there would be all these little surprises waiting for you around the corner or a hidden street. Again, Brugge was never on my travel plans until Aurelie, my French classmate, mentioned how pretty it is, as we were to hear from others who had been there. What better way to spend our Easter weekend in Europe than to spend it in Belgium, famous for its chocolates? :)

On another note, I have been feeling quite apathetic this month with regards to my post-graduate plans. Que sera sera, if nothing comes out of my e-mails, I believe that God has something better for me in His plans; everything that happens is for the best, even the negative ones, as evinced by all the events in my life thus far. I just need to be patient and not be disheartened, for He knows best.

What The Recently-Declared-Jobless a.k.a Graduate Does

Someone please find me a job! ^_^

Solitude

- Torino, Italy, 2007 -

Torino, or Turin, was the very first Italian city I visited. It was never on my travel wishlist and furthermore, at that time, I could not speak a word of Italian; it was one of those irresistible offers on the SNCF's website where we just had to pay 35 euros to take the TGV (my favourite train) to go there and 45 euros for a first-class seat on our return. It was only when I was there that I learnt it had just hosted the Winter Olympics just 3 months ago and the city still had remnants of the decorations all over. With a tourist card for just 18 euros, we could just about do everything possible for two days, and boy, was there plenty to do and see there! Museums, boat cruises, royal palaces, a special tram ride up a hill to get a panoramic view of the city, and the list goes on. Infatti, e' una citta bellissima. :)

How could I forget the lovely old Muslim couple who owned the hotel where we stayed and treated us like their grandchildren; it was hilarious each time Loren and I tried to communicate with them via hand gestures and a mixture of English, Spanish and French. When Loren needed change to call her father and wish him happy birthday, the lady walked with me to the shop nearby to get change. Not only that, they gave us free 1.5-litre bottles of soft drinks (something that we could not stop laughing about), biscuits during our stay and even bread to make sandwiches for our train ride home when we said the shops were closed that day.

So you see, one of the reasons why I love travelling is that I get to meet people who show such unconditional kindness to strangers. Perhaps I am blessed for God never fails to keep me safe in my journeys and let me experience such kindness everywhere I go. But I digress. I titled this entry "Solitude" for it was my initial intention to talk about what I was feeling earlier in the day, but just as I seem to be getting epiphanies these days with my endless thoughts, I got another one in the midst of writing - that even in solitude, one is never alone. It is the peace we seek, not escape, when we choose to seek solitude. For solitude is a matter of choice, while loneliness is not.

Yet again I have procrastinated, but I still have a day left to finish my community service report. While there is a thin line between optimism and delusion, why should one despair over inconsequential deadlines, when the true deadline every human faces is that of death. Again, there is a thin line between being fatalistic and realistic. With these precarious thin lines, may all of us have the benefit to be on the right side.

Holidays!

- Paris, France, 2007 -

There's just something about the Eiffel Tower that makes you want to take a gazillion photos of it in every way possible. Anyway, exams are over! I know I should be feeling elated but strangely enough, I didn't feel anything, neither happiness nor sadness when I handed in that last exam on Friday. It was a bit of an anti-climax, to say the least, just like how you were looking forward to turning 21 but when it finally happened, it was nothing great. In any case, I have to go grade exam papers, complete an article for my editor and submit my community service report before I can have a proper rest. In the meantime, I'll just content myself with photos of beautiful island beaches with clear blue-green waters and sand as soft as flour.

Change

So I changed my desktop yet again, because it's time for a change, or it's just another excuse to procrastinate. Thanks to the girls for giving me the bouquet; I must be the only girl you know who appreciates flowers solely for their photogenic qualities.

In other news, it's the exam week again and here's wishing all the best to everyone and especially the seniors, because we're finally graduating!

3 exams, 1 article, 1 community service report to graduation. :)

Of Birthdays

March and April have been the months for birthdays thus far. Thank you all for your birthday wishes! :)

---------------------------

1 week to graduation

Three Years On

That gentle wisp of feathery breeze,

That turn of his face to look at you,

That smile in return he waits for,

That smile keeps on playing on your lips.

So I have missed the birthday post for my blog yet again, by half an hour this time. Three years ago yesterday, I thought I would just start a blog for fun and see where it would take me to. Before long, what became clear was that I was not much of a writer; while I would have liked to be one, I was, and still am, too guarded to give away a part of my soul to share with a reader, as all brilliant writers do. Good writing makes you feel and empathize, and to do that requires the writer to share his emotions, digging deep within and bringing these emotions out, sharing with someone else. It becomes sort of an emotional investment where you place trust and faith in those you share these secrets with. Until I find it within me that willingness to share, or until I meet someone who can break down these walls of mine, until then I will keep everything to myself.

That said, I have a paper due in 16 hours and once again, I am nowhere near being done. 2 papers, 4 exams, 2 weeks to graduation. :)

PS: Have created a new site to hold all my photos from now on. :)

Panorama

- Oberalp Pass, Switzerland, 2007 -

I've taken a long time to decide which of my scenic Switzerland photographs I want to show on my blog. Sure they are all beautiful, but no photographs (at least of mine) could capture the grandiosity and beauty of the moments when I was there. My photographs could not show how happy I was to be aboard the Glacier Express, how small I felt as the train passed through these huge mountains in a valley and how unbelievably blessed I was feeling to be able to experience and appreciate God's creations. Neither could they show how I tried to take surreptitious bites of the cheese puffs that I had fried at six in the morning because you were not allowed to bring your own food to the dining car that I was in. All that aside, here is a photograph of where the train stopped for five minutes at the highest point of the route (2033 m) and everyone got out to take photos or a smoke while just enjoying the scenery.

Walking Through

- Monaco, 2007 -

The right words escape me as I try to write. I was going along the cheesy lines of walking through the tunnel of life and one can either choose to see the incoming crowd that overwhelms you or to look up and see the stars towards the end. So yes, sometimes, as it seems to be in this case, it is better to just let the picture speak for itself and convey the photographer's emotions.

-------------------------------

4 weeks to graduation

Suddenly I See

- Lucerne, Switzerland, 2007 -

When you are stuck in a rut, sometimes all you need to do is to look elsewhere and voila, there goes what you have been searching for all this while.

Of Permanence and Humility

- Paris, France, 2007 -

In this short life of mine, I have come across people from all walks of life, from the destitute who reminded me of how blessed I am to the talented and brilliant who impressed me with their humility and modesty, for as brilliant as they were, they knew that there would always be those who were better than them. It then perplexes me when I meet people with undeserved pride, people who are mediocre yet deluded into thinking that they are better than their peers. Do they not realize that any blessing that was bestowed upon them by God is but His, and that all of it is temporal? There is a fine line with recognition of one's capability and arrogance; I can only pray to God that I do not cross that and that I feel constantly blessed and grateful for whatever God has given me, both the good and the bad.

--------------------

5 weeks to graduation

B is for Beautiful, Blessed or Bored?

- Brugge, Belgium, 2007 -

Sometimes you just do not know how to get rid of this dull ache within you and you begin to ask yourself if it is emptiness, loneliness, boredom or a little bit of all three.

---------------------

6 weeks to graduation

Life in Monochrome

- Disneyland Paris, France, 2007 -

Should one attribute one's regression to the lack of intellectual stimulation? Perhaps it's a vicious cycle, a "chicken and egg" dilemma; one cannot exactly pinpoint where it all started. The only thing that one can be sure of is that everything is a mess.

------------

7 weeks to graduation.

Daydream

- Venice, Italy, 2007 -

What a day for a daydream

What a day for a daydreamin' boy

And I'm lost in a daydream

Dreamin' 'bout my bundle of joy

And even if time ain't really on my side

It's one of those days for taking a walk outside

I'm blowing the day to take a walk in the sun

And fall on my face on somebody's new-mown lawn

I've been having a sweet dream

I've been dreaming since I woke up today

It's starring me and my sweet thing

'Cause she's the one makes me feel this way

And even if time is passing me by a lot

I couldn't care less about the dues you say I got

Tomorrow I'll pay the dues for dropping my load

A pie in the face for being a sleep'n bull dog

And you can be sure that if you're feeling right

A daydream will last long into the night

Tomorrow at breakfast you may pick up your ears

Or you may be daydreaming for a thousand years

What a day for a daydream

Custom made for a daydreaming boy

And I'm lost in a daydream

Dreaming 'bout my bundle of joy

- Lovin' Spoonful

----

PS: This has got to be one of my favourite seasons of American Idol yet! :)

One

Sometimes all it takes is that one action, one gesture, one message, one person to take your breath away, make your heartbeat seemingly stop for longer than a second and then to that one place you have always wanted to go to, but then you stop and ponder, who could that one person be?

Week 7

No Entry

- Montmartre, Paris, 2007 -

2 midterms in the next 2 days; let's hope I survive!

Everything Good Comes in Pairs

Don't really have anything much to update in what seems to be a pretty unexciting life; other than my midterms coming up in exactly 5 days, a 4000-word essay due in 9 days and that I almost got sold off by an overly-enthusiastic mum. I'd like to say that I'm feeling emo since tomorrow is Valentine's Day but unfortunately, I'm feeling anything but that. Cheer up and smell the roses that'll be everywhere tomorrow! ;)

A Pleasant Surprise - My Colour

you are pink #FFC0CB

Your dominant hue is red... you are passionate, energetic, and unafraid of life's changes. You're all about getting out and trying something new, even if it means taking risks that other people would be afraid of. Hey, if they're afraid and you're not, more power to you, right? Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Someday

Someday we'll be old and dried up and then nobody will care. We try not to let it bother us too much but it still does. Someday we'll know who really cares, though we should have known it by now and it's all because we attempt to ignore the blatant truth, hoping there is another truth out there but we know there really isn't another one. Someday we'll find out the truth, only to learn that we had known it all along; that someday we'll be old and dried up and then nobody will care.

我必须休息因为我很累。

2008

- Jump! -

For those SMU students who are still partying somewhere or enjoying your holidays, school starts on Monday! And hence my last term in SMU, unless by some disastrous coincidence my calculations turn out to be flawed. Despite all my grumbles about smuggers and the change in the school environment from cosy to clinical, the SMU experience has been nothing but beneficial for me. In the past 3.5 years, I've done so many things that I never would have imagined myself even attempting and it is all thanks to the opportunities that the school has provided, the wonderful professors who are always willing to impart their knowledge and my amazing friends who are always there for me. I'm unsure how much more the school will change with the incoming batches but I will always look back at my university years with fond memories of the crazy things my friends and I did.

Before I risk sounding like an SMU advertisement (which I absolutely have no intention to), here's wishing all the best to those who are graduating this semester! Let's make this last semester a kickass one that we'll never forget!