The soft breeze that gently whispers
The music of the birds that carries her song
To valiantly seek what is truly hers
Could it have been him all along?
I did not upload a photograph today for I could not think of any that can successfully convey my emotions at the moment. I feel blessed yet wary, happy yet depressed, hopeful yet cautious, brave yet timid, and more. Just when you thought that you were going to suffer from logorrhoea, your heart clams up, your brain refuses to function and you can no longer say what you had originally wanted to say, all in that order. For it all begins in the heart; how does one will oneself to do what the heart is unwilling? The nuance of "I feel" differs from "I think", yet how far can one's feelings differ from one's thoughts? It is a neverending vicious cycle of one's feelings moulding one's thoughts, and vice versa, for one's thoughts can change the way one feels. People may argue that it is a chicken and egg conundrum, but for me, it all begins in the heart. My heart, that has been given to the One and only who will always be there for me, yet my weak heart continues to be stricken with impurities that threatens my love. It all begins in the heart; no one but Him sees my heart for what it really is, hears my thoughts for what they really are, and says the truth for what it has always been. It all begins in the heart - the unsaid, unseen and unheard - between you and Him.
- Tanjung Aru, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -
